Broken Glass


There is a fear of being broken. There are sayings about broken people and wanting to break people. The struggle to maintain the foundation is a great one. But what if we are meant to be broken? What if being broken is a gift, the only way we can build something greater?

I have been broken. I cannot tell you how many nervous breakdowns I’ve had. I often joke that it’s a twice annual occurrence. In fact I welcome it. How can such a seemingly awful event lead to a better, stronger me? As with anything, it is all in the way you view it. What angle do you examine everything from? Free will is the choice to find a different vantage point, one that allows you to view more of the issue than you previously thought possible.

I find it helpful to visualize the mind as being a physical place. Each set of ideas is a room or a different destination. Movement is precipitated by traveling along connected ideas and associations. In this way I can control which thought rooms I stay in. The better the thoughts, the more often I stay. In this way I can then choose to build up certain rooms. Some thoughts become mansions while others I let fall into disrepair.

Actually, it is very similar to the dream world in Inception. My goal is to replicate as much of the universe as possible in my mind, each photocell object being made up of ever-accurate ideas. This requires that I refresh, renew these ideas constantly. When a complete reset is required, this is when being broken comes into play. A nervous breakdown becomes necessary. What does that actually mean and what exactly is happening to the brain and mind of a person going through one?

A nervous breakdown at the scale of the brain is a massive storm. It is a global cataclysm, a hurricane occurring inside of the head. As with any disaster, there are casualties. Thoughts are washed away, whole systems of thought are utterly destroyed. The mind becomes a wasteland.

Then, suddenly, green plants start growing. People start rebuilding, creating new thoughts, new systems which will last longer and weather harsh storms. Like glass that has been broken, it is not useless. You just have more pieces to work with. If you desire, you can create something more beautiful with the shards than you’ve ever made before. Being broken is only a threat if you leave it at that, if you refuse to rebuild.

The materials that can now be used are made of stronger stuff. Just like spring cleaning, one can make room for updated ideas, ones that take into account what happened without buckling under the same pressure. Broken is not defeated. It is an opportunity to take those pieces and rearrange them into a beautiful new pattern. The rooms are yours to decorate. Be grateful for your glass. Be grateful you are breakable. The fact that you still remain means that you are greater than whatever was broken. Better yet, it means that you can design it by your standards, instead of using the blueprint you were previously given.

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