I’m going to get a little mushy. Yes, I’m going to talk about feelings. It seems as if most people learn to send their emotions past each other. They tell their friends more then their spouse, strangers more than their family. We’re getting better at growing knowledge and new technology but we don’t seem to know how to be honest about our feelings. This ends up causing many problems because emotions still find a way out. They just tend to be fired at those who don’t deserve it. See, everything that we do and feel has some physical counterpart. Most of the time people don’t consciously notice that they notice it.
For instance, did you know that you can tell if a person is trustworthy just by smell? Of course, humans spend so much time disguising their natural smells that now we just mostly confuse each other. People seem to love to talk, yet the vast majority of communication is nonverbal. With all of the ways that humans cover, hide, and mislead is it any wonder so many of us are nervous around people? We are literally disguising ourselves when we go into public. Many people display themselves as they wish to be seen and not as they actually are. Yet there still remain ways to see through this, to find the original underneath the veneer. This can be given away in tics, in rhythm, in smell, or in the emotions you feel.
The more often someone hangs around you, the more ably they can accurately guess your emotional state at a given time. Most of the information they gather is from your nonverbal clues. Even when guessing about strangers we are usually accurate. This is one reason why politicians, actors, and others in the spotlight are taught for hours, days, and months how to control their body language. Even then, their microexpressions can give them away. I tell you all of this to say that it is very hard to hide how you are feeling.
The way I envision it is that each person has a particular frequency. They have their own normal “vibration”: their voice, their affect, their stance, their behavior all have a normal range for them. Whenever something is “off” about a person, we sense this. Even if we can’t exactly pinpoint what it is or how we know, we can tell that their frequency is off. This is usually a deception of one kind or another; it may not be as big as a lie, it could also just be a burden, or it could be a bad idea. Magicians, mystics, and mediums become masters at reading body language or alternate signs from people. They pay attention. I find it a great shame that those who would finagle money, time, or resources from people can read honest emotions better than the people who matter most. The con man is so good with emotions that he can manipulate them in order to get what he wants.
A lot of us seem left without recourse, without satisfactory ways to defend ourselves, without being able to be most honest with the people who matter most. Some of us end up fearing emotions, fearing strong emotions. We keep them in check, for the sake of work, for the sake of another, for the sake of our reputation. Until we can deal with our emotions healthily, we’ll keep hurting one another, keep falling for the con man or the abuser, keep feeling lost and alone. I never understood how intelligent people kept falling in love with terrible people, why good people kept losing money and goods to con men, why being emotional was seen as a weakness. Most of us are left looking at what emotions devolve into when they have no proper outlet: into jealousy, rage, psychosis, despair, paralyzing fear.
It’s like the only emotion it is safe to feel is fear. Fear without an actual source. Just a general sort of panic or dread over everything. People become unable of experiencing good emotions without another one dragging them down. Other people burden their friends, family, or strangers with their emotions. Feelings are treated as things that are passed around, as things that can be dumped on or taken from another. Emotions are not transferable. Only the person experiencing them can deal with them effectively. Own your emotions; don’t confuse them for someone else’s reaction, don’t confuse them for a moral stance, and don’t ignore them.
Our emotions are like super-quick thoughts. They sum up our beliefs about something else or ourselves. As our beliefs change, our emotions respond in different ways. They teach us more about ourselves than anything else. It is possible to acknowledge them without being sucked into them. Remember, you still have a mind that can think. Try not to let your emotions decide; that’s not what they are for. Let your mind, your heart decide, and the appropriate emotions will accompany it. No matter what you are feeling; you are alive! Be honest with the people who deserve it but don’t make them pay for what you’re feeling. It’s not their responsibility to change your emotional state.
In what ways can or do you own your emotions? Have you ever fired an emotion at someone (love, anger, fear) and expected them to deal with it? Has anyone ever taken advantage of your emotions to trick you? What do you think we could all learn about our emotions and how can we channel them in a productive way?