I know, I know. Sporadic posting. I have much fewer spoons so please have mercy.
I am still working on articles for other magazines and blogs. Also…I started writing In the Time of Toba: Lilith. I think you’ll like it.
Anyway, this article is way too important to pass up. It’s not very inclusive of queer identities, but everyone’s who’s ever been seen as female knows exactly what this is like. Let’s not hide it anymore. Speak up. Stay together. If it’s not safe in the moment don’t let that keep you from telling friends, partners, and family later. Please. Because this is costing us our lives.
“We have all learned, either by instinct or by trial and error, how to minimize a situation that makes us uncomfortable. How to avoid angering a man or endangering ourselves. We have all, on many occasions, ignored an offensive comment. We’ve all laughed off an inappropriate come-on. We’ve all swallowed our anger when being belittled or condescended to.
It doesn’t feel good. It feels icky. Dirty. But we do it because to not do it could put us in danger or get us fired or labeled a bitch. So we usually take the path of least precariousness.
It’s not something we talk about every day. We don’t tell our boyfriends and husbands and friends every time it happens. Because it is so frequent, so pervasive, that it has become something we just deal with.”