How to Have Sex With an Asexual Person | Prismatic Entanglements

Or a demi aro with a history of sexual abuse (like me) or anyone. Period. Personally, I think if you’re trying to convince someone to have sex you’ve already fucked up. And especially for aros, sex-spectrum, and aces nothing that turns us off faster than someone wanting to have sex with us, rather than wanting to be with us. That’s why my creep meter is instantly and always set off as soon as someone mentions romance or sex without acknowledging anything about who I AM.

Fuck that noise. Sex is not something you give; it’s something you do. And honestly, most times, it’s absolutely not worth it. I have amazing sex because I won’t settle for anything less and won’t let anyone treat me as less.

Also, my books are filled with many aro, demi, and ace characters. They each have their own unique personalities and preferences for whether they’re celibate or not. And the entire process And consideration in this post is present in full capacity! Happy reading!

“Step One: DO YOU HAVE PERMISSION?

I don’t mean the “well, they didn’t stop me” kind of permission. I don’t mean the “they didn’t say no” kind of permission. I don’t mean the “they said ‘I don’t know’ or they kind of sort of wanted to” kind of permission. I don’t mean the “they said they wanted to at some point a while ago, so I assume that means they want to right now” kind of permission. I mean the “I explicitly asked them if they want to have sex right now, and received an unambiguously affirmative response” kind of permission. (That doesn’t mean you have to say it exactly in that way, of course, but there does need to be at least some communication in a language you both understand in the moment about whether it’s (still) okay or not.)”

“Step One: DO YOU HAVE PERMISSION?

I don’t mean the “well, they didn’t stop me” kind of permission. I don’t mean the “they didn’t say no” kind of permission. I don’t mean the “they said ‘I don’t know’ or they kind of sort of wanted to” kind of permission. I don’t mean the “they said they wanted to at some point a while ago, so I assume that means they want to right now” kind of permission. I mean the “I explicitly asked them if they want to have sex right now, and received an unambiguously affirmative response” kind of permission. (That doesn’t mean you have to say it exactly in that way, of course, but there does need to be at least some communication in a language you both understand in the moment about whether it’s (still) okay or not.)”

http://prismaticentanglements.com/2012/03/28/how-to-have-sex-with-an-asexual-person/#comment-9480

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s