“Ask A Black Person” @neal_michon Originally posted at: https://medium.com/@neal_michon/ask-a-black-person-a18a1ffcec7e
Ask A Black Person
Okay. Y’all done seriously been getting on my nerves. Y’all shocked as Hell, can’t deal with your grief, and still ain’t listening to those who’ve survived, fought, and died for this shit all along: Black people.
All oppression roots back to Black/indigenous oppression. All isms are tools to uphold white supremacy.
In the name of educating y’all ignorant asses, I’m offering you my expertise and that of those I trust.
Since there are so many wypipo and nonBlack POC with questions.
Y’all need to:
1. Pay us
2. Accept our answers. End of story
Cuz this is annoying, time-consuming, and disrespectful. Any Black folks want to go in with me? Get at me.
First, some caveats:
I’m starting at $10 per legitimate question, $20 for ignorant questions, $50 for any question that takes more than ten minutes to answer, $100 for any questions I have to do some research or assemblage on. If your question involves a more in-depth answer, just fucking hire me through Postmodern Woman, Michon Neal: Sensitivity Editor, or Everyday Feminism and fucking pay me what my labor is fully worth!
I reserve the right to refuse to answer your Oofta, white feminism, gay rights TM, triggering-ass questions.
I reserve the right to answer these questions in my own damn time and not be subject to your arbitrary schedule, because you know niggas be on Black time.
I reserve the right charge you more if you want a super involved answer, and I will not answer until the money is in my hands.
I reserve the right to post your dumb-ass questions on my sites to drum up more business.
I reserve the right to not be bombarded by a million fucking messages after you’ve posed your initial question. Stfu and wait patiently. I am doing you a goddamn service! Be grateful!
I reserve the right to call in Black when my spoons are low, when the next Black trans queer person or Native bi woman gets killed by isters, or whenever the fuck I feel like it cuz the cPTSD is too much.
If you want me to pat you on the back afterwards, it’s $5 bucks and I reserve the right to not fucking remember to do it because brain fog is a bitch.
Ask me a motherfucking question.