My Chronic Pain – “The other side of the opioid epidemic — we’re people in severe pain”

I think a lot of overdoses are accidental; when you’ve have no help and can only access certain things, you do the best you can with what you have. If needs were actually met (esp. physical, mental, and emotional; which are often the most distorted and forgotten), what gets labeled addiction will occur in lesser […]

Kaleidoscopes of Chaos – How Traumatic Boundary Violations Destroy The Capacity for Self-Care » The Art of Healing Trauma

I’m not sure why my sense of self always remained strong, even when powerless. But that’s the key difference between myself and many other survivors. My sense of my boundaries (and any hint of violation) was always on a hair trigger: my house, my fences, my alarms are all set at the atomic level. Yet, […]

Mask: Sick Woman Theory

You already know of my experience with an ever-growing list of illnesses. I grok this so hard. “There are two failures here, though. The first is her reliance on a “public” – which requires a private, a binary between visible and invisible space. This meant that whatever takes place in private is not political. So, […]

Rapists Explain Themselves on Reddit, and We Should Listen

This makes my stomach curl. I will not go to Reddit itself. But this is important. And in the book Unloved and Untamed you get to explicitly see why a rapist does what he does. It’s a discussion that echoes throughout the #cuilverse in many ways. It’s something that’s missing from so much “rape porn” […]

How to Have Sex With an Asexual Person | Prismatic Entanglements

Or a demi aro with a history of sexual abuse (like me) or anyone. Period. Personally, I think if you’re trying to convince someone to have sex you’ve already fucked up. And especially for aros, sex-spectrum, and aces nothing that turns us off faster than someone wanting to have sex with us, rather than wanting […]